The Drug and Alcohol Intervention Process

This is one of the most frequently asked questions in regard to staging an intervention. Two considerations come to mind: when it should be done, and what time.

The answer to the first question is: as soon as possible, just as one should dial 911 when faced with a critical emergency. Knowing that nothing is going to get better until action is taken, the intervention should be done as soon as the family can logistically come together.

Oftentimes, families wait and can’t get on the same page, and this benefits nobody other than the addict or alcoholic, who will continue to use drugs or drink alcohol. Of course, it truly isn’t benefitting him or her either; it merely allows the situation to worsen.

The loved one doesn’t have to wait to reach the bottom or ask for help. The addict or alcoholic only has to be there in person, to surrender, and to let professionals guide and teach.

The answer to the second question is: You should start the intervention as early in the morning as possible, and for good reason. The morning is likely to be the cleanest and most sober part of the loved one’s day. Although it is not impossible to conduct an intervention with a person under the influence of drugs or alcohol, the less they have ingested prior to starting, the better.

The second benefit of starting early in the day is that it gives the interventionist time to work with the loved one should there be initial resistance, and it also allows extra time to prepare for travel to the facility. Most people going to treatment need to travel far away from home, thus requiring travel on a plane with the intervention counselor. The later in the day the intervention starts, the fewer flight options there are available, which may give the loved one until morning to experience a change of heart and mind.

As a final note, the family day prior to the actual intervention can start whenever the family is available and at a location unknown to the addict or alcoholic.

Success rates of interventions are based on many factors that are difficult to assess. A family may ask about our success rate. The answer is: “How well will you follow our protocol and hold your boundaries?”

Interventions don’t fail; people fail to attempt them or stop following directions once the intervention is completed.

Breaking down the actual percentage of people who go to treatment following an intervention depends on many factors. Most important of those is the family’s ability to follow through with any and all suggestions. For the select few who say no, if the family follows through with consequences and doesn’t give in to their loved one’s threats and demands the chances of a successful outcome exponentially increase.

The primary reason interventions don’t result in the person going to treatment is because the loved one doesn’t feel the family will follow through with the boundaries and consequences.

After years of the family enabling and doing little to change behaviors, the addict or alcoholic is in control and feeling entitled. It is unlikely he or she will assume that you are now serious and will do as you say, largely because you haven’t demonstrated to this point that you are capable of these things.

With the intervention counselor out of the picture, those who don’t go into treatment try to bring the family back to the old ways. Addicts and alcoholics will fight for their survival at all costs. They will work to convince you that you did a horrible thing and that the interventionist is the enemy.

As you can see, intervention success rates are based on many factors, and it is difficult to guarantee an outcome. It comes down to the family’s ability and willingness to take direction and to become and remain teachable. As with any set of directions, successful outcomes result when people follow directions. The family’s success rate will mirror that of the loved one.

Similarly, treatment centers don’t fail to help someone; people fail to follow instructions. If either party chooses to revert to previous behaviors, previous results will ensue. The most important thing is to try.

When doing a consultation with families, we oftentimes realize they are looking for the smoking gun. They want to know what their loved ones are using, how much and how often. Addicts, alcoholics and families typically define how bad an addiction is based on those factors.

The question is, “Are they relevant?” Upon reflection, what the loved ones use, how much, and how often they drink or use has little to do with solving the problem.

The primary reason families call us has less to do with their loved ones’ use and more with their behavior, how they are affecting themselves and their families, and what they are and are not doing with their lives. Addiction tears families apart by fomenting chaos, confusion, dishonesty, legal consequences, health concerns, job loss, affairs and physical and emotional abuse, just to name a few.

Would knowing the details of our loved ones’ drug or alcohol use change anything about their actions, choices, behavior and the situation that led you to seek help?

You likely answered no, and that is because how much and how often your loved one abused substances are not the only things that can tear families apart and destroy lives.

Consider this other perspective: If your loved one had a great job, paid all of his or her bills, was a joy to be around, had zero consequences or issues, was emotionally, financially, physically, spiritually and mentally well, and did nothing to negatively affect the family or society…yet used drugs and drank alcohol, would you be seeking help?

Frequently, what a family tells us is only about 20 to 30 percent of what is really going on, not because the family is failing to tell the truth, but because the addict or alcoholic has only allowed the family to know that much. Most families are calling about a situation where they are seeing less than half of what is truly going on. Much more of the truth is revealed in the intervention.

We’ve all heard that most addicts and alcoholics go through a period of denial about their condition. The truth is they don’t even have to fit into any particular category, so whether or not they are labeled as being an addict or alcoholic is beside the point.

They may be in denial about the fact they have a problem, but there are some easily observable situations that can confirm that rather quickly. If their drinking and/or drug use is negatively impacting their lives or the lives of loved ones, that is reason enough to try and do something to change the behavior.

Most substance abusers don’t want to admit that what they’re doing to themselves or others is that disruptive or harmful, because it requires them to look at the reality of their actions, when getting drunk or high is their way of escaping reality. Having to face real life and destructive behavior for them is a threat to their escape, so they will deny it as long as they possibly can.

One way to pierce this veil of denial is to show them exactly how their alcohol or drug use has affected their lives and/or the ones around them. The trickiest part about this is that too often friends and family members make this a “blame and shame” session, which unfortunately only drives the addict deeper into the problem.

When they feel that everyone is against them, the only place they know where to turn is back to the alcohol or drugs.

Instead, an intervention must be done with compassion and should present a solution to them as well, instead of just pointing out problems.

With enough specific examples given in a non-threatening way, the user will often become very remorseful and may break down and be willing to change. Having a skilled addiction interventionist guide loved ones through this and ready to escort the addict to treatment makes the whole process go much easier in almost every case.

You don’t have to use drugs or drink alcohol every day to be an addict or an alcoholic. It doesn’t matter how much, how little or how often you drink or use; it only matters what you’re doing or failing to do as a result.

For those considering an intervention who are concerned about their loved ones’ frequency or recent lack of use, they should not hesitate to move forward for several reasons. Addicts and alcoholics can be dishonest about their use, either denying or downplaying it. What they can’t do is hide their behaviors associated with the addiction. When we do interventions, we try not to focus on the things they can argue about or deny, but rather the things they can’t.

Frequently, families mistakenly feel the problem is not as bad as it really is. Other times, families may think because their loved one has not used alcohol or drugs in several days that the problem may be going away or the person may be done using. On very rare occasions, such an outcome is possible, provided the loved one is not a true addict or alcoholic.

People can stop using because of fear, consequences, willpower and self-knowledge. For most people, however, that outcome isn’t possible. If you imagine that your loved one is that rare occurrence, you wouldn’t be reading this if that were so. He or she would already have stopped.

Addiction is most commonly classified as the Biopsychosocial Model or the Medical Model. The Biopsychosocial Model says that addiction is a disease that can be self-inflicted and triggered by outside factors such as genetics, environment, availability and trauma, all of which are treatable.

The Medical Model views addiction as a disease that can be diagnosed and treated. Both models hold that recovery requires complete abstinence. Ending the addiction is highly unlikely without professional help.

Similar to those with other fatal illnesses and diseases, addicts can have good and bad days. Just because they haven’t used doesn’t mean the problem has ended.  In fact, when they are abstinent for a short period of time, they are still in their untreated addiction and will most likely get worse each time they resume their use.

Oftentimes, families want to believe their loved one will never do it again. Rarely, if ever, is that the case.

No.

Society seems to have created an auto-response for dealing with someone addicted to drugs or alcohol. When families ask for guidance, the response invariably comes back, “There’s nothing you can do unless your loved one wants help or hits bottom.”

Oftentimes, the next piece of advice offered is, “Throw him out of the house,” or, “Cut him off and have him call when he’s ready.”

Sadly, this advice frequently comes from those answering phones at a treatment center. Many family members say they have called many places and were told, “He has to want it, he has to hit rock bottom. We can’t help him unless he makes the call.”

Please consider the source when asking such questions and the feedback you receive. Individuals operating the phones at the treatment center are neither therapists nor addiction professionals. In many cases, they come from a sales background and may not be educated or have a background in addiction. These folks are trained and paid to speak about their program and not to think outside the box.

Family, friends and colleagues also fall into the category of those without a proper background. In brief, too much advice and too many opinions come from people not qualified to give it. Although they may have pure intentions, non-professionals are often clueless about the topic of addiction.

People say that addicts and alcoholics “have to hit rock bottom” as if they know what that means. Bottom is different for everyone. Simply put, someone reaches rock bottom when things get worse faster than the standards get lower. What may be bottom to some isn’t necessarily bottom to an addict or alcoholic who has adapted to each and every crisis that came along.

Until the pain and the consequences of abusing drugs or alcohol become greater than the fear of facing sobriety, the loved one most likely will not stop. Some seek help after one DUI; others are in prison on their fifth DUI, planning a party upon their release. Some are serving lengthy prison sentences for vehicular manslaughter while intoxicated.

The first step in asking for help is admitting powerlessness over the substance of choice and that life has become unmanageable. Up to that point, loved ones have managed their addictions, their lives and their families in ways that kept them comfortable and consequence-free.

You’ve heard it all before: the bottom is jail, institutionalization or death – and that’s true. Through the intervention process, done on the family’s terms, the bottom can be your intervention and entering treatment.

Jails, institutions and death can be seen as society’s way of performing an intervention. As noted throughout this website, an intervention is going to happen with or without professional guidance.

You, the family, have the ability to create the intervention and provide a non-lethal bottom to your loved one before society imposes one.

Furthermore, families place too much emphasis on when the addict or alcoholic wants help or hits bottom. When does the family get to declare, “Enough!” and that they’re at bottom and ready to accept help?

A family doesn’t have to wait for their loved one to change. An intervention is a family’s way of beginning their own treatment program when they’ve had enough.

Addiction has the entire family turned upside down with all of their energy, time and focus on the loved one’s problem. As a result, family members have lost sight of their own wants and needs. The addict or alcoholic has selfishly taken everything possible from you, and out of fear, in most cases, you’ve allowed it.

Oftentimes, people say that interventions won’t work, that addicts or alcoholics have to want it. Interventions are not about strong-arming loved ones into treatment. Interventions help to “raise the bottom” and guide them toward asking for and wanting help.

Yes.

It can be difficult for families when loved ones say they want help when the intervention already scheduled or before the intervention counselor arrives. Verbalizing a desire for help at any time can be both deceiving and hopeful, whether the intervention is or is not scheduled.

Expressing a desire for help doesn’t mean he or she is going to choose an effective course of action, given that their previous “best thinking” and choices have led to the current situation.

Putting the choice of treatment, length of stay and location in the hands of the person who is addicted risks following the path of least resistance. After all, solving problems with drugs or alcohol has been the quick, local and easy solution until this point, so why would the choice of rehab be different?

Rarely, if ever, does an addict or alcoholic choose a path of recovery that aligns with professional recommendations. Most simply want detox, outpatient care, or 30 days close to home – and even that may be a stretch. Some want Suboxone, methadone or other medications, and others just want to talk to a counselor or therapist or go for an evaluation.

Be mindful of the “evaluation trap,” given that evaluations are based on what your loved one tells a professional, and honesty is a commodity that doesn’t come easily at this stage. If things are to get better, complete surrender and honesty yield the best results.

“I want to go to treatment for as long as it takes and not come back to my old environment before I am ready, making sobriety the No. 1 priority, followed by sober living while obtaining a sponsor and working the steps,” said almost no addict ever.

Asking for and wanting help may be sincere, but the problem is an inability to make sound, effective rational decisions at this time.

It’s as if a person acknowledges having committed an offense but wants to tell the judge what the sentence should be.

Given that addicts and alcoholics are all about shortcuts, fast solutions and the easy way out, their choice of care likely will be, too.

Addiction has to end one way or another. Either someone realizes on their own and is able to stop, such as those who “mature out” of it, or one or more people or situations intervene to cause positive change. Since the first is less likely to happen before some type of tragedy occurs, the only logical choice left is to try to do something about it.

This happens most frequently when people try to do the intervention process on their own. Family members usually get sidetracked, lose focus and get into arguments or start choosing sides on other conflicts come up. These are diversionary tactics that addicts will use. They want to cause more confusion or strife so that the addiction intervention derails.

The best way to achieve the desired results of your loved one entering treatment and your family on its way to healing is to enlist a professional addiction interventionist to help you through the process.

Sometimes families are told that the person in need of help must first have an assessment before finding an addiction treatment program. That is usually only in the case of extremely strict and rare insurance policies. Usually, we identify the treatment center before the intervention, and the assessment takes place as part of the initial admissions procedures.

Most people know that their loved one needs help. They don’t need an assessment to understand that there are very serious consequences to the behavior that go beyond basic dysfunction. In the majority of cases, the level of use is worse than people realize or what they were led to believe.

You know if they need help or not, so why wait for someone else to tell you that?

As stated above, drug and alcohol treatment facilities typically perform assessments upon arrival. This happens for multiple reasons. First and foremost, it is so the case managers, counselors and therapists understand the nature and history of each individual so they can begin appropriate treatment. The planning process often shifts along the course of treatment, as new things come to light through additional assessment tools.

Another reason for the initial assessment is for other insurance policies to find out what the appropriate level of care is, which is a no-brainer when someone is ruining their lives. If a substance abuser can’t hold a job, has burned through all of his money and friends and has been arrested or neglectful of all other responsibilities, it is highly doubtful that only part-time, outpatient care will be effective.

These and other obvious reasons make it clear, and the official assessment during intake simply confirms what you already know.

If a family sincerely believes they have done everything possible, they probably wouldn’t be reading this.

Oftentimes, families seeking help for their loved ones’ addictions become exhausted after a number of failed attempts at recovery. One or multiple attempts at rehabilitation doesn’t necessarily mean the methods chosen were the appropriate course of action.

When consulting with a family, we all too often find that the treatment center was not the right fit, was located too close to home, didn’t provide the appropriate length of stay or that the family permitted the loved one to return home to the same environment.

When treatment attempts fail, it is important to understand why. When a family says they’ve already done everything and the intervention didn’t work, it’s most likely because the family did it on their own or didn’t use the services of the right professional. The intervention isn’t about somebody coming into your home to coerce your loved one to seek help or to listen to a “life’s going to be great” speech.

When a family does everything the right way, with the appropriate professionals and a solid treatment plan in place, they can achieve closure and peace of mind, regardless of the outcome, knowing that they did everything possible to stop the addiction.

What other illness or problem could one have where the family would even entertain the option of giving up on trying to save the person’s life?

Doing everything doesn’t mean you kicked the loved one out of the house, but having failed to get help, he or she was allowed back in. It doesn’t mean the treatment center “didn’t work.” It doesn’t mean, “I let the loved one come home after or before treatment was over because he or she didn’t want to stay or was kicked out.” And it doesn’t mean giving up and doing nothing because of a relapse and refusal to return to treatment.

Success isn’t accomplished by giving up and giving in; it is accomplished by learning from mistakes, correcting them and moving forward.